Being Prissy, It Ain't Easy

Let me tell you one thing, being prissy - it ain't easy.

Part 1 - The Double Mani

Today I thought that I should go to an unnamed nail salon and get my nails done. It was my plan to take my lunch break and walk down there.

So - I did.

The customer service was excellent. I walked in, the receptionist was awesome, the nail tech came out and greeted me and came right back to get me. We chatted, she gave an excellent hand massage - I was really impressed - until she started my french manicure. Oh my.

First - I decided there was a problem when she didn't pain the white tips first. She painted the clear polish on, then the white.... and the white was not thin, but thick and icky. It almost reminded me of liquid paper..... so the first finger turned out okay - but a little thin. The next finger was horrible, by the 4th finger I think I began to grimace. It was looking real bad. She took the nail polish remover and said, "Let me redo this." I looked at my clock. It was time to return to work. I said, "Give it another shot, you can do it - we just need to hurry up because I need to go to work." The second time was worse. She said, "I can do this." I looked at her and said, "Ma'am - I'm late for work. You need to paint these nails - forget about the french manicure, just paint them red." She looked at me and said, "This is my first day on the job. I'm going to lose my job. The morning went so good, and the afternoon is going terrible." She started to cry. Well - I got a tear in my eye too. I told her not to worry, it would work out and if I had more time - I would love to give her another chance, but I simply did not have time. She painted my nails red, and I went back to work. It took 1 and 1/2 hours to get my nails painted red. She didn't do a very good job, but I know she was a little nervous too. Bless her heart. So, when it came time to pay out, I didn't raise a ruckus, and I even left her a tip. She tried so hard.
When I went back to work - everyone wanted to see the next level of prissy-ness, the French manicure - unfortunately, it was not a good representation of this organization.

When the girls in the office said, "Let's see your French manicure" and I held up the hot red mess, they just laughed. (Only DeAnna!!)

Tonight I went back to Star Nails in High Point (2705 N. Main Street) phone number 887-2001. It's located next to CiCi's Pizza beside the Food Lion. My friend Nga (Teresa) is worth the wait. Never again will I not see Teresa, the Vietnamese nail goddess for my needs. They also waxed my eyebrows. They did an excellent job, as always.

The final step to my new found prissiness was The Spray Tan.

Part 2 - The Spray Tan

My friend Heather had walked me through the steps of the spray tan. I could do it, I knew it. No one has ever died from a spray tan, right?

So I walked into Got Sun/St. Tropez Tan in High Point - it's in the shopping center behind Hooter's. She reviewed the details with me 1) get naked 2) use the barrier cream on finger nails, toe nails and hand. 3) use the hairnet, but make sure - POSITIVE that you've got your hair showing, because it will leave a mark. 4) when you've got your barrier cream on, stand on the magnet high the green button and your tan will begin. 5) Blot off from the feet up when you get out.
Apparently, I had too much of a barrier on my feet because I nearly fell and busted my butt before even getting into the Mystic tan machine.

I was ready - hairnet, CHECK - barrier cream, CHECK - naked, step into the Mystic tan box on the magnet,CHECK - green button, OH DOUBLE DOO-DOO.

The spray tan sprayed on me instantly - there are fumes (non toxic) and it is cold and I began to hyper ventilate. I could hear Heather saying, "Breathe when the sprayer is at the bottom AND Don't squench up your face." I could hear the instructions from the mystic tan operator saying, "Stand like this. Don't clench your hands." Apparently when you're only 5 feet tall, there is a less time to take a breath.

WELL - all I could think is if I was in prison, this type of torture would get me to tell whatever anyone wanted to know. It was the WORST THING I COULD IMAGINE. When the first spray ended I had to turn around - Thank You Lord!!! The next spray was not nearly as bad on the backside. I've never been claustrophobic, but tonight children - I WAS!!! Then, I got to thinking, "Don't pass out DeAnna - HP PD will see you naked. Don't pass out - the little girl working the desk does not want to deal with a little round woman naked and incipacitated on her mystic tan floor." I prayed a lot. Those were the longest 30 seconds of my life. THE LONGEST.

The verdict is still out on the spray tan. I made Danny promise he would tell me if I was off shade. It looks pretty good right now, but if I had of done it sooner - I personally would NOT DO IT AGAIN. I think Heather is fond of the procedure - she has earned a new spot of honor in my book.

Let me reiterate - I'm a chicken, and I don't like water (or non-toxic spray tan stuff) spraying in my face and I can't hold my breath. As my friend Brenda says, "Tanned fat always looks better." I believe that to be so, or else I would not have put myself through this torture.

Homecoming Game is tomorrow night - 7:30pm Northeast Guilford vs. Southern Alamance.
http://schoolcenter.guilford.k12.nc.us/education/sportszone/sportszone.php?sectionid=13741

The essence of DeAnna is probably the same as it has been since 1984 - the outside is fluffier, the color (head to toe) is not natural, but I'm still a lot of fun!!! Join me children.